


Starting Over

by YeehawBuckaroo



Category: Brokeback Mountain, Brokeback Mountain (2005), Brokeback Mountain - All Media Types, Brokeback Mountain - Annie Proulx
Genre: Fantasy, Fluff, Love, M/M, Romance, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:55:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24216274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YeehawBuckaroo/pseuds/YeehawBuckaroo
Summary: Ennis believed he could save Jack by sacrificing their relationship.
Relationships: Ennis Del Mar/Jack Twist
Comments: 1
Kudos: 65





	Starting Over

Ennis closed his eyes. Everything around him seemed to fade away, as he cleared his mind. 

Soon enough, he reopened his eyes. He was back where it all started. It was the summer of 1963. Ennis waited outside Aguirre’s station.

As expected, a black truck pulled up close to him. Ennis could already tell who was in it. The man left his truck and waited along with him.

Ennis glared at him for a second. He had brown hair, a black hat, and a denim shirt, which he knows will be stained with blood. He stared back for a second, so Ennis quickly looked away, as his blue eyes pierced through his soul, and left an ached his heart.

Ennis moved aside as a car pulled up right next to him. A familiar man exited his car and proceeded to the building.

“Y’ pair of deuces lookin’ fer work, I s’ggest y’ get yer scrawny asses in here, pronto.”  
_______________

The man started up a smoke as soon as they left Aguirre’s station.

“Jack Twist.” He shook Ennis’s hand, expecting a response. Instead, Ennis chose to not say his name.

Ennis followed him into a bar nearby. He wanted to refrain the offer, but his heart ached once again, so he just had to.

They ordered a few beers, but this time, Jack remained quiet. He didn’t recite his whole life story like he did back then, but stole a few looks from him.  
_______________

Ennis felt a range of emotions once he retook his first step up that mountain. He felt happy, sad, and nostalgic all at once. They spent two weeks in silence. Not one word was exchanged from each other’s mouths. All they exchanged were quick, remorseful glances.

Ennis was sitting alone. He reheated canned beans over the open fire. Momentarily, Jack joined him. He took a sip from the whiskey on his hand, and poured some on a small cup in front of Ennis.

“It’s my second year up here...” Jack finally spoke first, after two weeks of silence. “Last year, one storm o’ lightning killed 42 sheep.”

Ennis didn’t respond, but instead, he listened to Jack talk about stuff he already knew.  
________

It was a cold night. Ennis chose to sleep outside, while Jack slept in the tent. Ennis shivered under tge thin blanket, as the fire had just died.

Jack’s mind was pacing, for he couldn’t sleep. He heard Ennis shivering in the cold. He stuck his head out and called him in. “Ennis! Quit yer hammerin’ ‘n get in here.”

Ennis paused reluctantly. He knew exactly what was going to happen next. However, the cold was too much to bear, so his instincts reeled him in. Jack moved aside and gave Ennis a spot behind him. 

Ennis watched Jack drift to sleep before laid himself down next to him. Moments after he closed his eyes, Jack shuffled around, took Ennis’s arm, and wrapped it around his waist.

This time felt different though, as Ennis didn’t feel like letting go, nor does he want to have sex. He just stayed there, arms around the man that he loves, and the man he knows will die, if he were to give in to this forbidden love.

He felt his heart stop, then beat faster. His breath became heavier, and he felt like he was going to choke up. Finally, he sighed, then breathed in Jack’s scent. He grabbed him tighter, and hoped that he was deep asleep.

That morning, Ennis woke up with his arm wrapped around Jack. He carefully lifted it up, and then carefully leaned in to place very light kiss on his forehead, as to not wake him up.

Ennis got up at noticed that this time, his belt was buckled. He left the tent and was just about to take his leave, however, Jack greeted him outside the tent. 

“Y’ gonna be back for-“

Ennis quickly left before he could say more. Jack watched him leave, and then displayed a sad look on his face.  
____

Later that night, Ennis sat by the fire. So far, he had successfully ignored Jack for the whole day, a goal that hurt him to accomplish. He heard Jack enter the tent, but tried not to look that way, and kept his eyes on the fire, which danced and crackled in the dark, and made him warm against the cold wind. The comfortable warmth reminded him of Jack’s embrace, so he shook his head and the thought away. However, the thought of Jack lingered in his head, and soon, the warmth the fire brought became cold.

He considered Jack’s death. His death that will be caused by his sins. His death that will happen, if they were to establish their love. “No, I can’t.” Ennis told himself.

He shivered upon the cold air that brushed on his body, even if a fire was right there to warm him up. He took a deep breath and slowly stood up. He walked towards the tent, and took his hat off.

Jack sat up as he entered, then placed his hand on the side of Ennis’s face.

“Ennis.” He smiled. “You’re here.”

Ennis shook rapidly under Jack’s touch, and felt a wave of emotions, ranging from sorrow, love, desire, and regret. Then Jack slowly leaned in for a kiss and Ennis couldn’t hold back any longer, and let Jack take over. 

Jack wrapped his arms around him, rested his face against his, and closed his eyes. Ennis felt warm against him, until Jack pulled away. “Were y’ tryna ignore me this whole time, Ennis?” Jack asked, with a serious look on his face.

Ennis didn’t answer, but responded. “I never told you my name.”

“I know.” Jack placed his hand on Ennis’s cheek once more. “Darlin’, I know.”

Ennis turned his head, kissed Jack’s hand, and closed his eyes, as some tears rolled down his face. 

“Jack,” Ennis cupped his hands on both sides of Jack’s face. “Jack, you were gon-“

“Ennis, please don’t tell me y’ were tryna make sure this don’t happen!” Jack frowned.

Ennis took a deep sharp breath. “I wanted t’ save you... If—“

“Look ‘ere Ennis... I don’t regret us bein’ together one bit.”

“But, this is why you’ll—“

“Ennis!” Jack stopped him from interrupting and wrapped his arms around him and whispered to his ear. “I’d rather die lovin’ you, than live forever in a lie.” Jack placed a peck on Ennis’s cheek, pulled away, and revealed a smile. “Don’t regret it one bit.” He then said as he stroked Ennis’s cheek.

Ennis leaned back in and wrapped his arms around him.

“Y’know I heard y’ cryin’ last night.” Jack commented.

“I couldn’t help it... I don’t wanna lose you, Jack.”

“Hey, I’m still here.”

“Not fer long.”

Jack pulled away and felt a drum in Ennis’s chest. “I’m right there.”

“Enough bullshit, Jack!”

“I ain’t jokin’...” Jack grabbed both Ennis’s hands. “Even when I die, I remain right here.”

Ennis gave Jack a big embrace once more. “There’s somethin’ I’ve been meanin’ t’ tell ya... Jack...”

“Go ahead, Ennis.”

“I... I love y’ Jack!” Ennis cried. “I’m sorry I never told y’ this when y’ were alive.”

“It’s fine, Ennis... I knew it all along... was somethin’ I always felt.”

Jack stroked Ennis’s cheek one last time, and slowly started to fade away. “I love you too, Ennis. Don’t y’ ever forget that, y’ hear?”

Ennis smiled and reached for his face. “I won’t.”

“Good.” 

As he slowly faded away, Ennis could faintly see wings behind him. He then shone brighter as he flew to the sky, and illuminated the sky brighter than the sun could.

Ennis opened his eyes. He was back in the familiar, but unwanted present. He sat up and frowned. Nothing changed: He was broke, stuck in a trailer, and Jack was still gone.

He then looked down at his chest and felt his heartbeat. He was greeted by a familiar warmth, which made him smile.


End file.
